Can You Remember?
by MarissaRose
Summary: It’s been along time since that fateful day. The day that changed my life dramatically. I always knew she was close to me, and deep down I always knew I loved her. It’s kind of awkward coming out and thinking of this now... but I had to.


**A/N- This story is when Jess is a lot older, and he visits her site. He's talking to her through his mind, and this is what he's saying. It contains spoilers if you never actually watched the full movie… but then again why would you read it anyways. Anyways… hope you like this short thing.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Can You Remember?**

It's been along time since that fateful day. The day that changed my life dramatically. I always knew she was close to me, and deep down I always knew I loved her. It's kind of awkward coming out and thinking all this now to you, seeing as I would never be able to tell you in person now. We would be around twenty three now. You'd be older, of course. Yes… I've never forgotten that, remember? You liked to point it out a lot. It was just something I've never forgotten about. I never want to. You meant so much to me, I could never truly explain it enough, words or no words. If you were here, I'd show you just how much I miss you, and feel about you. I know this is probably hard to take in, because it was my entire fault. If I hadn't of been so – so selfish – you might still be around. I would have been there to help you… and make sure you didn't drown. But I wasn't. And I'm looking for some sort of comfort by being here today, talking to you through my mind.

I guess I can tell you about this time of my life. While you knew everything about my ten year old form… you haven't been around for my adulthood. I met this girl. Her name is Reese. She's a very nice girl… but she's not you. I'm married to her, but she's not you. I have a daughter; she's five and acts almost as if you were her mother. She has brown hair like me, and also has my brown eyes. She resembles me a lot, and she's my life. I also have another one on the way. Reese thinks it'll be a boy, I wouldn't mind that. I would love to have a baby boy. I sometimes wonder how it would be if you were the mother of them. I always smile and close my eyes. Then Reese calls to me, and the more than pleasant thought is gone. You're gone. Why'd you have to leave me? Did you just let yourself go? Maybe to see if there really was such thing as a God? Life would be so much better if you had of stayed. I wouldn't be longing to be with someone else, other than my wife. Do you know how hard it must be for her? To know that she would always be my second choice, over you? It must be an awful feeling. I really hate doing it to her, too, but I and you both know that that's just the way it has to be.

I get so mad sometimes at Reese. She just can't understand how special you were, and still are to me. She's not for me, you are. She's not understanding like you are… she's almost like my parents. Can you remember them? Always fighting and complaining to each other… forgetting to show love. Remember when we promised each other that we wouldn't be like that when we got older? Can you remember? We used to have this special bond, and you could always see my emotions in my eyes, as much as I hated to let you see. You know what a sad boy I was… and took that into your own broken life, and fixed me. Your parents told me that I fixed you too, but I doubt it. You were your own person, and believed what you wanted. You could fix yourself, where I was a follower. I followed whatever they wanted me to believe in, and I accepted it. You saved me… but you saved yourself, not me. Although I suppose I could have saved you, but I failed. Not just emotionally either. I could have saved you from this death you had to face. If I hadn't of when with that teacher I was hopelessly crushing on, than you'd be by my side at this very moment.

At my wedding, I looked around and saw all my family, and other people. Even your parents came. They were sitting in the second pew at the church, and when Reese was walking down to meet me, I looked at them, and imagined they were here to see their daughter get married. I tried to imagine I was looking into those ocean blue eyes of yours, but they were mudded out by Reese's hazel ones. She was truly beautiful, and I tried to but my focus back where it needed to be… but it kept wandering off. I couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like, if it was you.

When my daughter was born, I closed my eyes. Everyone in the room thought it was to hold back tears of her being finally born… but it wasn't. Only I know this though. I was scared I'd hurt Reese's feelings if I told her… but I was thinking about if you were lying on that bed, about to deliver my child. Our child from love. It always looked much more beautiful than what the scene in front of me was revealing. I hated seeing Reese in so much pain, but she didn't like to show it in front of me. I couldn't help but think if it was you, you'd be holding my hand and squeezing it. She never did that. Sometimes I wonder if Reese is only with me because of my money. Sometimes I wonder if she went through the pain of having kids with me to prove that she wasn't only in it for the money. Can you remember when you told me to reach out and pursuit my dreams? Can you remember? I did it. I listened, and know I have more than what I could have ever hoped for. Except one thing… or one person.

Can you remember? Can you remember all those amazing times we spent together, visiting Terabithia? Do you ever wonder what it would be like to revisit those special days, and for me to go with you on that fateful day? Can you remember, Leslie?

**A/N – Totally sucks… I know. Don't need to tell me. But anyways, I'd like if you review, please.**


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